Urgent and Desperate Things
by WizardingWorldOfAGleeksMind
Summary: Things aren't the same, and Kurt knows what he has to do.
1. Chapter 1

"I can't do this anymore, Blaine," Kurt whispered brokenly, finally letting his feelings seep through his words. His voice was pitched with raw emotion.

Blaine looked up at Kurt, shocked. "Can't do what?" he asked.

"You _know_," Kurt said, angry now. Why was Blaine doing this to him? "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Blaine. And I can't do this any more."

Blaine tried to cut in, but Kurt's words were tumbling from him now. He had been bottling all of this for months, and it was finally coming out.

"I can't be your boyfriend any more, if you're interested in someone else, Blaine! Why can't you see that? You _know _how hard things have been for me! And I finally found you, and you know how much you mean to me. But now you're ... You're_ drooling _over a _girl _from Glee Club?" The words came out as a shriek, but Kurt was way past caring about that or the tears that were rolling down his chin.

"Kurt," Blaine said softly, hazel eyes glistening with tears. "If - if this is about the girls, I -"

"It's not about you being bisexual," Kurt growled. Blaine looked taken aback, but Kurt was in no mood to be gentle about this. "Oh, _please_, Blaine. Any idiot could have seen it, even after Rachel-Gate number one. And ever since she broke up with Finn, you've been all _over_ her."

"I ... Kurt, I -" Blaine tried again, tears falling freely down his beautiful face.

"Blaine," Kurt sighed. Seeing Blaine crying broke something in Kurt. He hated that he was making this happen, but he knew in his heart that he had to do this. He slid down onto the bed beside his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, and closed his eyes in an attempt to clear his head. This moment was everything, and he had to say the right thing. He took a deep breath. "It's not about you liking girls as well as boys. I know that this has confused you, and I'm happy you've accepted that part of yourself. And it's not ... It's not that I don't know that you love me." A lump rose in Kurt's throat. He hated where his words were leading him. He hated himself. He hated that he could see Blaine's lower lip trembling as he bowed his head. "Because I know ... I know you do, Blaine. And I love you too. I really, really love you. It's just that -"

He was cut off abruptly by Blaine crashing his lips into Kurt's. Blaine held Kurt's face delicately in his hands, but his lips told Kurt urgent and desperate things.

"N-" Kurt tried to protest as Blaine broke away for air, but Blaine was insistent. He forced his tongue into Kurts mouth and Kurt's started to move with Blaine's, tracing familiar but exciting patterns, and Kurt thought that maybe they should just do this instead of breaking up, this was so much nicer -

Kurt pushed Blaine off him and stood up. "No," he sobbed. "It's not the same as it was before. I can't be your first if you have a second too. Everything has changed. We still love each other, but you don't love me the same any more."

Kurt met Blaine's eyes. There were a lot of emotions there, emotions Kurt could read like a book, he knew Blaine so well. He saw apologies, excuses, sadness, heartbreak. But Kurt was only looking for one thing, that last ray of hope that might save this disaster, the one thing that he didn't find - denial.

Kurt had known the truth in his words for a while, but having it confirmed by Blaine himself sent him over the edge. He broke down, his sobs escaping.

"Kurt -" Blaine stood up and reached for Kurt hesitantly. Kurt let Blaine take him. He knew that it was over anyway. What harm could this do? Kurt wanted to be held, and Blaine was there, with his arms stretched out to him.

They cried together for a long time, maybe hours, Blaine holding Kurt tightly the whole time and rubbing soothing patterns on his back. They kissed a few times, Kurt stopping it each time as he felt they were getting too into it. He loved the way their tears mingled with their sweat and spit and the taste of each other. He had never felt closer to Blaine.

It was this thought that disturbed Kurt the most, because he shouldn't feel this way. They were broken up. He wasn't _allowed_ to feel close to Blaine any more, and it scared him how much he did.

"You should go," he croaked out, his head resting on Blaine's shoulder. He felt like he could just fall asleep there, but he had to will himself to be strong.

Blaine pulled back and looked Kurt straight in the eyes. Blaine's were terribly bloodshot. "Kurt," he whispered. He sounded like a defeated man. "I'm sorry." Tears streamed down his face. "I'm - you don't deserve this. It kills me that I did this to you." He took a deep breath. His eyes were looking into the deepest corner of Kurt's soul, and his sweet breath fanned over Kurt's face.

"I'm never giving up, Kurt." He kissed Kurt again. The kiss was so sweet and delicate, yet so full of emotion and meaning, it took Kurt's breath away. Blaine stopped the kiss this time, and said just one more word through his tears. "Never." He touched his forhead to Kurt's for a fraction of a second, then turned around and made for the door, wiping at his eyes.

"I'm glad," Kurt breathed, so quietly he wasn't sure Blaine had even heard him. But the smaller boy stopped at Kurt's door, turned around, and smiled a sad smile that made him look a hundred years old.

That smile was all it took to break Kurt's heart. He didn't care if Blaine was gone yet, or if Carole and Finn were back yet. He literally felt all the blood leave his body, draining him. His head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, and he felt overwhelmingly hot and stone cold at the same time. He stumbled backwards, his back meeting the wall of his bedroom. He slid down to the floor and let the sobs and the heartbreak take him.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine stumbled blindly through Kurt's house, finding his way easily - after all, it wasn't the first time that he had moved blindly around Kurt's house. But all those times had been very, very different to now. The twisted irony made Blaine physically sick.

He needed to get away from this place. Away from the memories and that smell of _Kurt's house_. It used to make him feel so comfortable, so welcome. Now those feelings were tainted by something poisonous - he felt like he was in a nightmare. This felt worse than he could have ever dared to imagine.

He dove into his car and tried to start the ignition, but his hands were shaking too hard. He decided that he needed to steady himself before he would be in any condition to drive. He took a deep breath, but the silence he had expected didn't come.

There was a noise coming from somewhere above the car. The noise disturbed Blaine for a reason he couldn't think. He listened more closely, trying to figure out what it was -

Something clicked. The noise was coming from Kurt's room. It wasn't _crying_, but - it was a stream of cries. Heartbroken, frantic noises. Blaine could _feel_ Kurt's emotions in those sounds. It gave him goosebumps, and it frightened him - Kurt sounded close to hyperventilating.

Blaine felt completely torn - half of him yearned to be up there with Kurt, to take him in his arms and tell him everything was OK, to make sure Kurt never shed another tear again. But in a state of panic, his better instincts kicked in, and he decided that he was definitely the _last_ person Kurt would want to see right now. He took out his phone with tremors running through his entire body.

Each dial tone felt like a razor being dragged over Blaine's heart. _Pick up, pick up,_ he willed the girl on the other end.

"Hey, Blainers!" Mercedes giggled when she picked up. "I'm with Tina. What are you callin' me at this time for? You want another Mean Girls marathon?" Blaine heard Mercedes and Tina giggling, probably remembering when they, Kurt, Blaine and Rachel had watched Mean Girls three times in the same night.

"Mercedes," Blaine choked. His voice made him sound like he had lung cancer.

"B - Blaine? What's wrong, honey?"

"He - he broke up," Blaine forced out. "With me."

Silence.

"You need to - his house," Blaine said. He didn't care about himself - he had done this, he deserved to hurt. But someone needed to look after Kurt. "Now. It's - it's bad," he said, his voice breaking on the last word, his sobs escaping.

"Okay," Mercedes said. "We're on our way. Will I call Rachel?"

"No!" Blaine shouted, not thinking. "Uh - I called her. She ... She can't make it." He willed himself to keep his composure. The couldn't know about the Rachel part of everything.

"Okay. We'll be there in five minutes. Are ... Are you OK?"

"Yeah," Blaine said. "I have ... Yeah." He hung up.

He felt a like a tidal wave was crashing over him, and his eyes filled once more with hot tears. But he knew he needed to get out of here before Mercedes and Tina arrived, so he started the car and pulled out of the drive, trying to block out the sounds of Kurt's torture, but failing miserably.

He felt like all his nerve endings were being dipped in lava. He turned on the radio, but it was all just talking, talking, talking. Blaine needed something to take his mind off what was going on. He switched the dial to "CD," and let his mix tape of Disney songs take his mind away.

Before he knew where he was going, he was there. He hated himself for going here, but he couldn't have gone anywhere else. He gave in to his weakness - he had to. He wouldn't have made it through the night if he hadn't.

He nearly ran up the pavement, yearning for the person behind the fancy doors. He thudded the knocker frantically, not caring who he woke up.

Rachel opened the door, beaming, but her expression dropped like a bomb when she saw his face.

"Blaine?" she said, her big eyes full of confusion, and worry. "What's wrong, Blaine?"


	3. Chapter 3

Almost two weeks later, and Kurt was still alive. He didn't know how, but he was. He kept his head down. He never met Blaine's eye. He bottled up his pain and waited until he was in the comfort of his own room to let himself go. It wasn't easy, not at all. But he did it.

Friday afternoon, almost two weeks after the break-up, he was making his way out to the parking lot when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see not Blaine, as his heart had hoped for, but Puck, looking very serious.

"Dude," Puck said. "Blaine got slushied."

Kurt could only stare, his eyes bulging.

"I saw him heading for the auditorium," Puck continued. He looked Kurt in the eye. "If you wanted to ... Y'know." He shrugged.

"Yeah, I'll go. Of course. Thank you, Puck."

Puck nodded and walked away.

Kurt hurried to the auditorium. It didn't matter that they were broken up or that they hadn't made so much as eye contact in almost two weeks. Regardless of what had passed between them, the bottom line was that Blaine needed him. And Blaine had been there when Kurt had needed someone.

He had gone through the school as to get to the auditorium quicker. He made it to the side of the stage and pushed the curtain across softly.

He didn't see what he had expected to see, and he didn't understand it at first.

There were two people in the auditorium. They were sitting in the audience, near to the front. They were sitting very closely together, talking in hushed voices.

It was Blaine and Rachel. Kurt did a double-take. Then he zoned in on them again.

They were leaning in closer.

They were kissing.

Kurt made a noise that was halfway a gasp and halfway a sob. It sounded like he was choking.

Blaine and Rachel jumped apart as if tazered. Rachel's hand leapt up to cover her mouth, and Blaine's eyes widened in horror.

Kurt sobbed again and spun around on the spot, bolting for the door. He heard Blaine calling his name and running after him, and it reminded him so much of his Junior Prom night that it stopped him in his tracks. He remembered how much of a comfort Blaine had been to him that night. He had been his rock. But everything was different now.

Kurt continued out the exit.


End file.
